Explaining death to a child is never easy,
but this task can be even more difficult if the child is also autistic. Most
autistic children are capable of sensing the void in their life from the death
of a loved one. What you say to your child when explaining a death will depend
on many factors, including their developmental level and how close they were to
the deceased. In general, there are a few tips that you can keep in mind that
may make this task a bit easier on both you and your child, whether or not they
are autistic.
Look
For Ways To Explain Death Before It Happens
Sometimes it is not always possible to try
to prepare a child for the death of a loved one, particularly if the loved one
passes suddenly or when they are young, but death is a topic that should be
discussed rather than avoided. If a loved one is facing an illness that is
likely to result in death, you may wish to be on the lookout for opportunities
to discuss death with your child. If you happen to be driving by a graveyard or
perhaps a pet that belongs to your child’s friend dies, these are good opportunities
to bring up the subject of death and explain that it is a natural part of
life. Explain that it is natural to feel
many different emotions when someone close to us dies, but that death is
something that is a natural part of living.
Reassure
Your Child That It’s Not Their Fault
Your child may understandably feel confused
and perhaps distressed at the loss or void in their life from the person’s
absence. When explaining death to your child, reassure them that the death is
not their fault, that nothing that they said or did made the person go away and
that it is not a means of punishing the deceased. Explain to the child that the
loved one is also no longer in any pain and still loves them, even though they
will no longer be able to see them.
Try
To Maintain Normal Routines
It is important to try to keep the child’s
schedule as normal and regular as possible, but also important for the child to
attend the viewing and funeral of the deceased loved one. It helps everyone to
give and receive comfort and to be allowed to show their grief.
Understand
The Signs Of Grief And Offer Comfort
We all express our grief differently. Some
children may temporarily regress, or perhaps act out more and display outbursts
of temper and frustration. Others may express their feelings in nonverbal ways
such as losing sleep or appetite. It is important for adults to express to
children that all of these behaviors are normal and that they are still loved
and that it is okay for the child to seek comfort from them.
Death is hard enough for adults to
understand and accept. Don’t expect too
much of your child.
