Insensitive Questions

We’ve all experienced them, the snide remark, the well meaning but inappropriate advice, or the blatant insult. 

How strong we feel today affects how well we respond when someone gets it wrong.  We are often chronically sleep deprived.  We live with uncertainty, fear and worry about the future, coupled with even more mother guilt than usual.  Catch us on the wrong day and you might get an earful far worse than you expected, possibly deserved, but perhaps not very effective in educating or stopping it from happening again.  Preventing another parent or family member from feeling the same pain, by making the other person consider their words next time, is the best we can take from a poor situation.

So what are our options?

Start by remembering we all have our own battles, especially if the insensitive person is related to you.  They may not be able to express it, or feel like they don’t have the right, but your child’s diagnosis doesn’t only affect you.  Assume that insensitive remarks come from lack of understanding or education, or even fear, or grief, before you jump to conclusions and down their neck.  By acknowledging that those close to you have legitimate and understandable worry and sadness related to your child can make a huge difference to your response and give them an opportunity to open up.  You have your own struggles and the last thing you may want to hear is how sad they are, but if they love you and your child they will be hurting too.

Take the opportunity to educate and inform if you can, if not at the time but at a later date, when you have both stepped back from the situation and most importantly never discuss the incident in front of your child.  If the comments are from a family member and not isolated, it’s important to try to address each incident individually if possible, instead of waiting until you reach boiling point.  If it was a throw away comment or a rude and probing question from someone you are unlikely to meet again, try not to respond at all.  Are they really worth it and do you think you are going to make a difference?  Choose your battles, in all likelihood you have enough already.  Education is a good goal but so is self preservation.

Perhaps the question itself was ok but the terminology or timing was poor.  Not everyone is as educated in the most appropriate words or descriptions as chances are they are not as immersed in the life of your child as you are.  Sadly, as much as we like to assume the best, sometimes the hurt was intended and once again this is just as likely to be someone you know well.  Try not to give them the satisfaction of upsetting you and draining your energy, because this is probably exactly their goal.

As much as taking out your frustration on some ignorant person is tempting, especially if today was harder than usual, it’s really not worth it; you may feel better momentarily but you don’t need the added stress on a tough day and your loved one doesn’t need to see you lose control either.

"Learn to respect all kind of people.  Because everyone is fighting a battle on their own.  We all have our problems, bad sides and bad days.  But there is so much more behind it.  Behind me, behind you, behind everyone."
- Unknown

World Autism Day 2014

World Autism Day is Wednesday 2^nd April 2014. Each year it is recognised with events around the country.

One of the biggest events is Light It Up Blue.

"Light It Up Blue" is a global campaign that sees thousands of iconic landmarks, cities and towns around the world turn blue on April 2 to recognise World Autism Awareness Day. The campaign highlights the pressing need for greater public education and awareness of autism in our community.

Each state is celebrating the day by lighting their most celebrated monuments with blue light.

If you’re in Sydney, head to the Harbour to see what this year’s blue surprise will be.  In other states, your capital city will light up your buildings blue on the night of April 2nd, too. If you are in regional areas, check with your local council or health centre to see what is happening locally.

In Melbourne this year, World Autism Day will also be celebrated on Saturday 6^th April at Luna Park where families will be given private access to the funfair between 9 and 11am.

The park promises:

• Reduced sound
• Reduced lighting effects
• Understanding staff
• Quiet area available
• Ability to stop rides if needed
• Closed to the public

We think this is a great idea and would love to see the concept spread around the country.

It is not too late to hold your own Light It Up Blue event but you need to register quickly. Light your home or office up blue, or wear blue clothes to work.

If you’d like to make a donation to show your support please click here to go to the donation site.

Support The Autism Awareness Campaign!

Whether or not you and your family have been touched by autism we ask you to consider supporting the Autism Awareness Campaign which is hoping to be noticed by the politicians during this year’s election campaign.

Back in March 2013, autism expert Dr Tony Attwood said ''A child diagnosed with apparently mild autism may have challenges that are profound to them.  If they are offered little or no support, there potentially could be tragic consequences.''

In May 2013, DSM-5 was introduced and the definitions of autism, aspergers and many other mental disorder conditions changed.  Now the number of people who will qualify as having ASD, and therefore qualifying for funding, has changed, too.  Some estimates suggest only 60% of people currently diagnosed with autism would meet the DSM-5 definition.

This election, speak up for all Australians with autism.  In all of the promises and spin over the next few weeks, it is crucial for them to make their voice heard.  We need to remind our politicians that 1 in 100 needs to be funded and it needs to be now!  Find out about their new campaign and how you can get involved.

Let's help them make their message heard by visiting the Autism Awareness website and spreading the word.  Anything you can do to bring this issue to the attention of our politicians and the policy-formulating advisors would be a great help.

Celebrating World Autism Month

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) affects every family in some way.  Most people are aware of someone who has an ASD and therefore they are aware of the strain these disorders can place on parents, carers and families in general.

The month of April is internationally recognised as Autism Awareness Month and each year the awareness grows thanks to many varied organisations and supporters.

One of the very worthy supporters is Australia’s Camp Autism Inc.  Camp Autism Inc is run by a group of volunteer parents who have children with an ASD.  These parents have recognised how valuable it can be for families to enjoy quality time as a “normal” family without facing the stigmas that society places on ASD children and their families.

Through their amazing efforts many ASD families have been able to attend Camp Autism Inc and not only enjoy a family holiday, but also meet other ASD families and make new friends along the way.  The chance for the family to enjoy family time without any fear of judgment is one that provides lasting and treasured memories for these families.

Without the support of businesses and volunteers, these dreams would not be able to be realised.

Here at The Toy Bug we are giving our full support to this fantastic cause and throughout the month of April, we will be donating 10% of all sales towards Camp Autism Inc to support their pursuit of creating a special needs holiday venue for Australian families.

World Autism Awareness Day 2nd April

This year’s World Autism Awareness Day falls immediately after Easter.  For the last six years, on April 2 the world has celebrated World Autism Awareness Day by lighting up blue.

Autism Awareness says “April 2 is the United Nations sanctioned World Autism Awareness Day, which sees countries all over the world light up their iconic buildings blue. From The Empire State building, to the Pyramids, famous buildings and landmarks across the globe will all take part in the ‘Light it up blue’ campaign to shine a light on autism.”

I love the World Autism Awareness Day Facebook page which is filled with photos of children wearing blue in support of the day, and of the world’s major buildings showered in beautiful blue light.

This year the Sydney Opera House won’t be showing much colour, thanks to the decision of the Premier of NSW who has decided to only support second-rate lighting.  Our Opera House won’t glow like the Empire State Building or buildings around the world.  It will be a limp blue grey colour.

If you would like to support the cause by contributing towards the funding of decent lighting, you can do so at Everyday Hero and show that you care.

Join the World Autism Awareness Day page on Facebook or visit Light It Up Blue to show your support.

Extreme Love – Autism

Earlier this week I highlighted on The Toy Bug Facebook page the program recently shown on ABC 2 that was made by Louis Theroux called Extreme Love – Autism.  The program is about some of the challenging circumstances that are faced by parents with children with an autism spectrum disorder as they grow older.

In particular they focus on a mother who has a 13 year old son who can have explosive tantrums, a 19 year old who is about to leave school as well as a 20 year old who is severely autistic, sets the house on fire and attacks his mother.

In addition, the program also visits an innovative school in the USA to find out how specialised intervention can help.

The program is powerful viewing whether you have an autistic child or not.  I encourage everyone to watch and learn.

A Film About Autism

 

To help with raising the awareness, acceptance and understanding of people with autism spectrum disorders (ASD), Autism Awareness Australia has created a short film titled “What are you doing?”.

This purpose of this film is to teach school age children about ASD and help them to better understand and accept their peers who may have ASD at their school or in the community.  The film is narrated by Tom Gleisner and Michael Whelan is the author who has also written “The Other Country”.

The film includes interviews with family and friends of children with ASD and features a strong message on inclusion and understanding of ASD.  Animations are also used to help explain the message as well as the use of some beautiful imagery.

Over 10,000 copies of this film have been distributed to every school across Australia including teaching materials to assist the school and the teachers as they educate their students.

You can also purchase you own copy of the DVD for $20 plus postage by clicking on the “What are you doing?” link.

April Is World Autism Awareness Month

With April being World Autism Awareness Month it provides an opportunity to discuss, learn and highlight issues with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs). This can result in a greater appreciation and understanding of ways we can assist children and adults who suffer from an ASD to improve and lead a more meaningful life.

With one in 100 people estimated to have an ASD, the awareness month also provides an excellent opportunity for people who don’t suffer from any ASDs to be made more aware of this neurological condition.

ASDs can affect interpersonal skills, communications, motor skills, concentration as well as a number of other developmental conditions and can relate to people with Asperger’s syndrome and high functioning autism. It has been the raising of the awareness that has led to many of these conditions being recognised in the last 10 to 15 years where previously they may have been misdiagnosed. The importance of this is that with early intervention, better support and understanding occurs to assist with managing the ASD.

As part of the World Autism Awareness Month, in 2007 the United Nations General Assembly declared 2 April as World Autism Awareness Day in perpetuity. Autism organisations around the world use this day to promote fundraising and awareness events. This also includes the Light It Up Blue campaign and this year thousands of building and landmarks in 45 countries and over 600 cities were coloured by blue lights.

The other important issue with World Autism Awareness Month is that it provides an opportunity to value the role of autistic people in the world, how they can make a positive contribution and that they can be proud of themselves.

As part of our involvement with World Autism Awareness Month we would like to encourage you to share your thoughts and stories on our Facebook page.

Light It Up Blue

This year’s Light It Up Blue event saw some of the world’s major buildings turning blue in support of people with autism.


Japan


Australia


Brazil


Canada

Sometimes people say that these ‘special days’ don’t achieve anything and that they are a waste of time. Then you see results like these. Right across the world major buildings and landmarks turned blue. If that doesn’t bring attention to the topic, what will?

I hope you turned blue on Monday night. It’s a magical experience in many ways, isn’t it?